Take a Bite Out of this

Food...
the ultimate weakness of the human body
In Actuality a human could survive with nearly half the calories they consume on a daily basis however because of the sense of Reward food signals to our brains, rather than a necessity..food has become part of every aspect of our lives.
While we control the food..by producing and making it. The food controls us as we can not keep it out of our hands which then place it in out mouths.
It is the answer of all our emotional needs...
Happiness..Guilt..boredome..love...depression...tiredness..
and it can cause emotions as well.
Because of this big significance Food has became in a humans life..this "big significance has to led to Big People"
big people do not aquire the efficiency our country actually needs to success economically. This "Big People" problem..has led to many health problems that could otherwise be prevented.
Rather than food being an activity, a reward.. it should simply be what it was discovered to be used for..a sense of energy..and only enough energy to keep our bodys running normally. This would produce effiecient human beings with Decent health and likewise good attitudes as the most common concern now in days is Weight and Appearance.
WIth all this mass production of food in this country, it is suprising we havent found other ways in putting these resources to use. Why not figure ways in converting this human energy sources into fuel sources for other objects..Car Fuel out of corn oil?
America HAS this tecnology...why not put it to good use..
Educating America on what substances to consume in order to live longer and happier is becoming an important consumption of knowledge as this is what the HUman Race desires..Immortality.
Note To Humans: Eating Candy will not keep you alive..

The Light and the End of the Tunnel

I'm Driving down this on way one lane Tunnel
The speed limit is your own limits
A car in front of me is going 25mph
I am so tempted to go as fast as my car will take me
if i were to do that..I would crash..and fatally ruin my car or my life..
so im forced to go 25mph down this tunnel
I can't see the end

Torture

Other than this Tunnel that i am stuck in..My car is playing the best music
and I am very content within my car
however
I want to go faster
not going to happen until i get out of the tunnel
and back onto the country road.
i dont know how long this tunnel lasts
i just want to be out of it...

On a more Exciting Note...

www.stringstudies.com
the site ive designed for my guitar teacher.. go!

also
my guitar teacher and i are planning this sweet new happening

in this little town of St Joseph.
A Club for people to come and check out new and upcoming bandss
and Rockn places.

I get to think of the name..
im so excited...
St JOe get ready for a revolution

That Tis All

PeaceNg

The Biggest Doubt takes up my Mind

Damien Rice-"Volcanos"
Don't throw yourself like that In front of me - I kissed your mouth your back - Is that all you need? - Don't drag my love around volcanoes melt me down -
What I am to you is not real - What I am to you you do not need - What I am to you is not what you mean to me - You give me miles and miles of mountains - And I'll ask for what I give to you - Is just what i'm going through - This is nothing new - No no just another phase of finding what I really need - Is what makes me bleed

Damien Rice-"Cannonball" Still a little bit of your taste in my mouth - Still a little bit of you laced with my doubt - Still a little hard to say what's going on

He seems so perfect..just like he has since...forever.. i guess... I really dont want to be some other girl he dated..i want to be something AMAZING..
I need to stop being so Boring..no one wants a bore.. I read in a magazine (not that they should be relied upon as ..reliable sources) Pretty girls..are incidentally Bores..cuz they never had to climb up from the bottom to get to the top for what they deserve..and..im finding myself a bore..
It makes me wonder if i have even discovered my identity yet.. I thought i did..but now everythings changing.. im thinking different ways.. I dont know what i want to do with myself anymore..
Im just

floating

and i want to know what im doing here .. of course not my purpose.. but what do i really want for myself..
I used to be this strong willed person who would not give up for something ireally wanted..and here i am.. I have given up my first love (Softball)..Im getting Fat...im slow...my studious personality has ran away..i dont know..
and im just not acting the way i want to around Joshua.
I hope that i have not lost him..
I dont really know why i would think that..he had a euchre tournament today.."tradition"..we hung out the past 4 days.. we're hangin tommorow..
I want to have something Exhilerating to do tommorow..
something that will win him
something to make sure..hes going to be with me for a while
something to make me seem Amazing!
something that will make me confident in myself that this is going to work out..

ive gone to far to let this boy slip from my grasp..
this is my chance..
and i must go for it. Im happy to have him..

why let go..

But.. as i was at my friends suprise party..and josh was there..
everyone had their girl/guy by their side and everyone was the same..the girls quiet..the boys talking..and prolly thinking *oh god..girls*..and before i was one of the guys.. i may not have been playing cards but i sure as hell wasnt just sitting around being all quiet..
kinda pisses me off that im like this..

anyway
no more boringness
Im going to be full of life! have stuff to talk about! have my creativity back! have myself back!!.. it may take time.but

"before brilliance..comes chaos."

eh..Whatev.

I Like him a lot..
dont let me screw this one up..

I dream..

The perfect beginning

My new years couldnt be better..
I began my first day of the year..with the greatest person in the world..
and its been like that ever since..
its unbelievable
a miracle
and i Love It

I want to know what it feels like to Be Fast

Screw You Kids.. ->->->->->->->->->->-v

So..
New Years Eve.
I guess this calls for some Resolutions..

First off..i am starting this yr..i shaved..got my hair cut..took a nice cleansing bath..bought some new clothes..redid my nails..i think im ready for a new beginning..the only thing that is missing... is someone to celebrate this fresh new year with. Ahwell.

life goes on.....

as im learning..
anyway.. so beginning with my first resolution..
Today..as I was working out at southshore..I ran a 5k on the tredmill (aka:Hell) and after I talked to Mr. Buschlen (the Henry David Thoreau of our county) cuz he was working out also..he comes up to me..and he asks me

"Slabaugh..whats it like to be fast? What is it like to be fast?
I want to
know what it feels like to be fast.."

well..for my first new years resolution:

1) I am going to find out what it feels like to be fast..no
matter what strive it takes..

yea..ive finally realized..ive been asking myself that question..i just didnt put it into words..but i want to find out..
my other resoultions

2)Build a stronger relationship with my Family..get to know them..let them get to know me..be able to depend on them..make them feel open to rely on me.. i kinda have always wanted that...i just havent tried i guess.

3)Know what love feels like..says what it means..means what it says..nothing more to say about that..

4) be the healthy person i percieve to be to people..not just act like it when im around people..but always..ive been ahypocrite about it..

5) be more open about my thoughts..let people know whats on my mind..be more assertive about what i want..

I guess thats about it..
but i know im gunna be more aggressive towards this whole..you know..
i dont get what no one knows you want..
anyways

cheers for the New YEars..and I hope everyone has a good one..
I will leave you from a little of "Bloc Party, Like eating glass"

It's so cold in this house

Open mouth swallowing us

The children staying home from school

Will not stop crying

And I know that you're busy too

I know that you care

You got your finger on the pulse

You got your eyes everywhere

And it hurts all the time when you don't return my calls

And you haven't got the time to remember how it was

It's so cold in this house

It's so cold in this house

I can't eat, I can't sleep

I can't sleep, I can't dream

An aversion to light

Got a fear of the ocean

Like drinking poison, like eating glass

It's so cold in this house

Come and show me how it was

We've got crosses on our eyes

Been walking into the walls again

We've got crosses on our eyes

Been walking into the furniture

We've got crosses on our eyes

For richer, for poorer, for better, for worse

We've got crosses on our eyes

We've been walking into the furniture

Love is A Competition

My sisters told me yesterday :

"You Want it..You go and Get it.."

well.. wish me luck.. cuz im goin in

So Lonely

Its Christmas Break..
I have nothing to do
No One to call
no one to see
no one to show up at my door to suprise me.

No One.

I just dont know anymore..what am i doing?
SO I burnt my hand today.. its disgusting..
just another thing to add to my moping list for a pitty party..
i love it..
and it hurts like hell..
just like it hurts to know that i can't just hang out with Him..whenever iwant..
i dont know.

What is it about love that makes it desirable to the point of desperation?
I feel it.. but i dont understand..
I want someone to be there that i know i can call and see when i need to..
someone to touch my lips.. make me warm..
someone to make me laugh...someone to watch movies with..to cuddle..to hug goodbye..kiss goodnight..
someone there always..
someone that cares as much as i do about eachother..
someone to call my phone when im not expecting anything.. someone i can say is mine.. someone that thinks about me thorughout the day..

where is that someone? I thought i found him.. but i wasn't even close.. someone found him i guess before me..or i just didnt speakup soon enough..
damn my mouth and the way i think..
damn Love..