So Lonely

Its Christmas Break..
I have nothing to do
No One to call
no one to see
no one to show up at my door to suprise me.

No One.

I just dont know anymore..what am i doing?
SO I burnt my hand today.. its disgusting..
just another thing to add to my moping list for a pitty party..
i love it..
and it hurts like hell..
just like it hurts to know that i can't just hang out with Him..whenever iwant..
i dont know.

What is it about love that makes it desirable to the point of desperation?
I feel it.. but i dont understand..
I want someone to be there that i know i can call and see when i need to..
someone to touch my lips.. make me warm..
someone to make me laugh...someone to watch movies with..to cuddle..to hug goodbye..kiss goodnight..
someone there always..
someone that cares as much as i do about eachother..
someone to call my phone when im not expecting anything.. someone i can say is mine.. someone that thinks about me thorughout the day..

where is that someone? I thought i found him.. but i wasn't even close.. someone found him i guess before me..or i just didnt speakup soon enough..
damn my mouth and the way i think..
damn Love..